parents

Parents With Abusive Children or Teenagers

For parents of children aged 8-17 who are verbally or physically abusive and whose behaviour seems beyond their control.

Our CAPVA Programme offers support and strategies to parents and carers who are experiencing challenging behaviour from their children and teens.

Sessions are delivered over a 8-week period and during this time families can also access our specialist Child to Parent Abuse & Violence IDVAs for one-to-one support including safety & support planning for all family members.   We work together to reduce feelings of blame, isolation and shame common to parents’ experience abuse from their child/ren.  Together we work to improve communication and to rebuild broken family dynamics.

Topics covered include:

  • The multicausal nature of abuse
  • Entitlement and responsibility
  • Meaningful consequences for the child
  • Anger and common myths
  • Communicating assertively
  • Wellbeing, self-care and goal setting

This parent/carer-centred approach gives clients a chance to share their experiences and support one another.  Unlike mainstream parenting advice which assumes that children are cooperative, we understand children are likely to have stopped co-operating; they may appear to care about very little; may deliberately sabotage parents attempts to apply consequences; and may escalate their violence when they say no or try to apply consequences. We encourage co-parenting couples to attend, where appropriate.

If you’d like a chat about this service or support to apply:

leave us a voicemail on 01273 612025. You can also email us at [email protected]

https://www.hses.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/cropped-favicon-1.png

What do supported parents say about the service?

megaphone

One thing this course has really helped with is my shame. My friends don’t have to deal with misbehaviour to this extent from their children because they’re just not like that, so it’s been wonderful to hear from other people going through the same thing.

megaphone

This course is giving me a feeling where I just feel calmer coming every week. It’s like therapy!

megaphone

It’s nice having more knowledge of consequences as a bolster, I don’t feel so out of control. I have managed to put consequences into place and it has been very helpful.

megaphone

I’m finding the course very interesting and I love the way it slowly reveals a way forward, bit by bit, step by step. Small steps are way more manageable and if they don’t always succeed it doesn’t feel so massively discouraging.

Referrals

Please click here to fill in our Home-Start online referral form.

If you’d like a chat about this service or help to apply you can call Clare on 07955 300 355 or leave us a voicemail on 01273 612025. You can email us at [email protected] or message us on Facebook by clicking here.

If you work for a partner agency and would like to refer someone to the Who’s In Charge? programme, or you are a parent who would like to self-refer, please complete a complete a Referral Form online. This programme is funded for parents living in East Sussex including Brighton & Hove.

Please note, there is a waiting list for this service. We will inform you of approximate waiting times upon receipt of referral.

Having Trouble with our Online Form?

Please click here to download a paper version of the Who's in Charge? Referral Form (Word, 77Kb)

Frequently asked questions

Eligibility is based on age of your child, the programme is targeted to support parents/carers of children aged between 8 and 17 years old (when the programme begins).

We encourage parents to attend together if possible. Please note, this does not have to be from the same location or device.

Anyone can submit a referral whether it is on behalf of themselves or others.

If an agency would like us to support one of their service users, it is their responsibility to consult with them and get consent to share the personal information requested on the form. We will follow up all referral forms.

Alternatively, clients can phone one of our friendly team for a chat about the service. Jude, 07801 952765 (Mon-Weds) or Clare, 07955300355 (Mon-Fri)

We will always respond to you within five working days.

Please click here to fill in our Home-Start referral form.

If an agency is referring on behalf of a service user, they must ensure that the service user has given consent for the referral.

Alternatively, if you require any additional support with completing the referral form, please contact our Services Administrator, Roisin, on 01273 612025.

We will always respond to you within five working days.

HSES provides a valuable service as part of the coordinated response to domestic abuse in East Sussex, and we are committed to working with other agencies to promote, support and improve the response locally to victims of domestic abuse.

Where it is identified that a client needs additional support that we are unable to provide, we will signpost clients to a specialist local service.

We aim to make first contact with new clients within five days of receiving the referral, to acknowledge receipt, confirm eligibility and share an update on when clients might expect to be offered a place on a programme.

Once eligibility is confirmed, clients will join a waiting list. Once placed on this waiting list, we are unfortunately unable to offer any monitoring or interim support to clients on our waiting list, therefore, you would not expect to hear from us until a place becomes available on one of our programmes. At this point, you will receive an email inviting you to book an initial call in the month leading up to the programme with one of our programme facilitators to discuss your current situation and confirm whether the programme is still suitable for you. This call will include a risk assessment.

Before accessing any of our services, you will be asked to sign a privacy notice which covers our data protection and confidentiality policies.

If you are referred by a professional, we will update them on the progress of the referral.

Home-Start East Sussex tries to provide support to eligible victim-survivors as soon as possible, but there is currently a waiting list. Clients and referrers will be notified of an estimated wait time once the referral has been accepted and the client is on the waiting list.  Once placed on this waiting list, we are unfortunately unable to offer any monitoring or interim support to clients on our waiting list, therefore, you would not expect to hear from us until a place becomes available on one of our programmes. We will contact you once a place becomes available.

Home-Start’s Who’s in Charge? Programme offers support and strategies to parents and carers who are experiencing challenging behaviour from their children and teens (aged 8-17). During the 9-week programme the programme works to reduce feelings of blame, isolation and shame common to parents experience abuse from their child/ren. The group also works to improve communication and to rebuild broken family dynamics.

There are nine sessions in total spread over 12 weeks, there is a four-week gap between sessions eight and nine to allow time for clients to implement some of the strategies learnt. Each session lasts 2.5 hours, which includes some unstructured time to build friendships with other clients. Groups are held via Zoom with around 12 clients attending each programme.

Groups are currently held via Zoom on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday morning, from 10am-12:30pm. We aim to alternate the days we offer on each programme to increase availability for clients.

Client safety and well-being is the priority of all our services at Home-Start, and is considered and reviewed throughout any service engagement.

The primary eligibility criteria for attending the group is that clients are assessed as safe to attend, something that we continue to review regularly during any programme, through ongoing and dynamic risk assessments.

We recognise that simply by attending a programme, clients may be more at risk, and we ensure that any such risks are discussed with the client before joining the programme and are then assessed and mitigated where possible. Our welfare check process will be clearly explained to clients during their Intake and Risk Assessment phone call prior to the programme, and on week one of the programme.

Time is also allocated at the end of each group session so that group attendees can speak individually with staff. This provides a regular space for any clients to share risk disclosures or concerns that they may have. Clients are also given a contact telephone number for a staff member to support safety in between sessions.

For any individuals whose risk escalates during the programme, appropriate safety planning and onward referrals will be carried out.

All essential information is recorded within individual case files, which are only accessible to authorised staff.

We treat all information with strict confidentiality except where there are child or adult safeguarding concerns. Our procedures on information sharing with other services and the role of other agencies is clearly explained to clients during the intake process.

Clients are provided with a privacy statement to sign outlining all confidentiality procedures.

Skip to content